This will be something I post about frequently.
Em was always a great baby, and an awesome toddler. I never had to worry about her getting into trouble, the kid ALWAYS had to have eyes on me. When she turned four, I learned quickly that she was possibly the most disorganized child I had ever met. Throughout the years, she got more disorganized. Her self esteem was awful. She would say things like "I am stupid.. I am ugly..." etc. etc. It broke my heart, but I didn't know what to do.
She has always been... flighty. She cannot focus on things to save her life unless she really really really is interested in them. Ask her to clean her room? Forget it. That will take her days and days and days until you finally do it yourself. The more you get on her case, the more she shuts down. The more you punish her, the worse she is. Vicious cycle, and I was starting to feel like a horrible parent.
When fourth grade hit, Em started to have troubles with her school work. An A-B student went to a B-C student. I had to hire a tutor to get her through the school year. I was constantly getting papers to sign that she forgot to do. It was frustrating, but again, I figured it was my parenting. I got more and more frustrated with her inability to complete her assignments, her inability to listen to me, and oh my the drama!! My baby girl is a drama queen to the max, and it was just simply frustrating.
Then we hit fifth grade and what was already down hill went to a deep dark pit. Her self-esteem, which was already horrible, got worse. Her inability to focus got worse. Her "forgetting" to do assignments got worse. Notes came home from school, grades went to D's and F's, and I was left wondering what the heck was going on. I hired a tutor again, hoping that would get her back on track. Then, as I was on the phone with my husband in Afghanistan at 9:00PM one evening, my call waiting rang. It was her school. I quickly answered, and spoke at length with the tutor. The tutor felt Em might need to be evaluated for ADHD. This is not a school that wanted to pump my kid full of medicine. She simply wanted to see if that was a possibility, and if it was, get a diagnosis so they could better help her.
So, I made an appointment with the pediatrician. He gave me a form for myself to fill out, and a form for her teacher to fill out. We did not compare notes, I did not even look at her teachers portion. When we went in, the pediatrician said it was interesting that the teacher and I answered the form almost identically. He said questions 1-10 were about inattentive type ADHD. If the child "scores" 6 or more, they have inattentive type ADHD. Em scored 10 out of 10 on both my sheet and the teachers. He offered a non-stimulant medication to try, and gave me the form for the school...
And then came the concessions. Those saved my sanity, Em's sanity, the teachers sanity. Basically, because of the diagnosis the school would cut her work in half. Instead of having to do 50 questions, she could do 25. Here is what I have learned about my inattentive type ADHD daughter:
-When she looks at a paper with 50 questions her little brain gets overwhelmed and she thinks she just cannot do it. Limiting that work still allows her the practice, but for some reason when she knows she only has to do 25 it is much less overwhelming.
-Building on that, it helps her to have things broken down. Instead of having her clean her whole room at one time, it is easier for her to focus on one small task. So one day may be get all your laundry to the laundry room, and the next may be clean up your stuffed animals.
-Distractions have to be kept at a minimum. Even though we also have a toddler in the house, she has to be in a quiet room. You do still have to frequently check on her and keep her on task. Seriously, an eraser will distract her.
-Praise works better than discipline for her. If you tell her what an amazing job she is doing, how smart she is, it builds her confidence and she can do more. If she senses you are frustrated, she is going to shut down and forget how to spell her name.
-Check everything, twice. She will forget to turn in money for the field trip. She will forget she has a math paper. She will forget to brush her teeth, her hair, take a shower, etc. etc. You cannot list all the things she has to do because then she will be overwhelmed, and again, forget how to spell her own name.
-Be patient. Patience for me is a work in progress, because the child drives me absolutely batty sometimes.
-Tell her every single day that she is special, smart, caring, loving, a good friend, a good daughter, a good human. Make sure she knows how good of a job she is doing. Her brain simply does not work the way ours does.
This is all a work in progress, so I am sure you will see many more blogs on this.
My mistakes?
-No realizing sooner that there was an issue. I was not a bad parent, she was not a bad kid. Simply put, her brain does not work the way mine does. Appreciate these differences, be patient, remember raising this child will be different then any other kind of child.
-Not building her confidence sooner. Instead of appreciating and holding on to the little things, I pushed on the big things, and in the process I helped destroy her confidence.
-Being the opposite of patient with her. I yelled, I screamed, I had to leave the room. Sometimes I still feel like doing these things, but they do not help her and they do not help me.
-Shell
Thursday, May 24, 2012
HPV: My most current mistakes
For my first blog post I am going to start with what made me decide to write this blog, my health mistakes. I truly hope this helps at least one person... DISCLAIMER: There will be some that do not agree with me posting this kind of information. Quite simply, I don't care. If this encourages just one woman to make that appointment, it was all worth it. If this eases someones mind about these procedures, it was worth it. Moving on...
I have always skirted around having my yearly, no fun visit with the Gynecologist. During both my pregnancies I went, and I went to my six week check-ups, had a couple check ups in between, but that was that. All the pap's I had were always normal results. Last August I was having some issues that required a visit, so I went ahead and scheduled my yearly with the Gynecologist. A week later I get a call telling me I had "low grade changes." The doctor wanted to give my body six months to fight it, and then do another pap...
Then life got in the way. I got married, moved, was setting up my new life, and just really did not feel like dealing with it. Finally in April my husband convinced me to go again. I go to the new doctor here in our new state, and again my pap smear comes back abnormal.
He explained I had lower than low grade changes, but did test positive for HPV. Because of this, he scheduled a colopscopy. During the colopscopy he ended up having to do several biopsies of abnormal cells in my cervix. This was not a fun procedure in the slightest. It was painful, I cried, and really wished I did not go alone.
One week later I got the phone call. My biopsies came back as CIN II. Not the worse it could have been, but not the best. Due to this, I had to have cryotherapy. This involves freezing 1/3 of the depth of the cervix. It was uncomfortable, and on the way home I fainted and threw up. Not fun at all. And ladies, let me tell you, when they tell you that you will have "slight watery discharge" after the procedure, what they REALLY mean is you will have so much watery discharge that you will look like you peed yourself. Use a regular pad, do not use a liner. Mistakes to learn from?
-HPV can lay dormant in your system for 5-10 years. ALWAYS get your pap smears every single year! It is uncomfortable, annoying, and not enjoyable, but it may some day save your life.
-If you are scheduled for a colopscopy, take a trusted friend (or your spouse) with you. They will help you keep your mind off it.
-If you have cryotherapy, wear your granny panties and bring a pad. And keep a stock of pads for the two weeks after
-Shell
For those interested in the exact specifics of the procedures:
Once a pap smear has come back abnormal, your doctor will do one of two things:
A. Wait 6 months for your body to clear it and redo the pap or;
B. Schedule a Colopscopy
Colopscopy:
This is like an in depth pap smear. The only difference is, once the speculum is placed, the doctor uses a qtip to coat your cervix with a liquid. This does NOT hurt. He then looks at your cervix through a special magnifying light, and the liquid makes the abnormal cells turn a certain color. If the doctor sees no abnormal cells, your done :) This process made me a bit uncomfortable, but it did not hurt. If he does see abnormal cells:
Biopsy:
The doctor will use an instrument to take small pieces of each of the cells. The pieces are about the size of a grain of rice.Everyone has different experiences, but this hurt, and it hurt badly. I handled the first biopsy ok, but after that, I freaked out. It hurt, I wanted it to be done, and that is what I told my doctor over and over again. He was very supportive through the experience, but that was the opposite of a good time.
Your doctor will then send that biopsy to the lab. These results take about a week, and they can come back as one of three things; CIN I, CIN II, and CIN III. My OB/GYN informed me that CIN I is the lowest grade, and they do not do further treatment (besides redoing your pap smear in 6 months). Typically your body can fight this off. CIN I is just the first part of your cervix. CIN II is the middle abnormality, and encompasses about 2/3 of your cervix. This requires further treatment. CIN III means your entire cervix is affected. This also requires further treatment. My biopsy came back as CIN II (as mentioned above), and my doctor chose Cryotherapy. There is also the LEEP procedure, but as I did not personally have that procedure, I cannot tell you my experience.
Cryotherapy:
The doctor pulls out a big scary looking fire extinguisher looking thing (but bigger), and attaches a small instrument to it. He then sets you up just like he would for a pap smear, and inserts the small instrument attached to the nitrous. That gets pressed against your cervix for five minutes, and the goal here is to remove 1/3 of the thickness of the cervix, in hopes your body will replace the abnormal cells with normal ones. At the beginning it was just uncomfortable, but the longer the procedure went on, the more uncomfortable it got. I would liken this to period cramps that start slow, and work their way up in intensity. Just when I thought I could not do it anymore, we were done. He removed the instrument, but kept the speculum in for a few minutes (as everything was quite literally... frozen). He removed everything and told me to expect some slight watery discharge for a couple of weeks. No douching, tampons, sex, baths, or swimming until the discharge is gone.
Ladies who are going to go through this last procedure, my Gyno lied. This is not a slight watery discharge. This is "OMG I think I peed my pants" discharge. A liner is not going to cut it here. You need to have, at the very least, a regular pad. For night time, please learn from me, and have an overnight pad on. I am 4 days past the procedure, and the discharge is just as heavy as it was the first day. I will update this once it is gone, but seriously it is like peeing your pants over and over again.
So, I get another pap in 6 months. If it comes back normal (and the success rate of Cryotherapy is 85-90%, so that is likely), then I keep going back for pap smears every 6 months for 2 years. If it is abnormal, we will start the process again. My cervix will replace the cells within 3-6 months.
I have always skirted around having my yearly, no fun visit with the Gynecologist. During both my pregnancies I went, and I went to my six week check-ups, had a couple check ups in between, but that was that. All the pap's I had were always normal results. Last August I was having some issues that required a visit, so I went ahead and scheduled my yearly with the Gynecologist. A week later I get a call telling me I had "low grade changes." The doctor wanted to give my body six months to fight it, and then do another pap...
Then life got in the way. I got married, moved, was setting up my new life, and just really did not feel like dealing with it. Finally in April my husband convinced me to go again. I go to the new doctor here in our new state, and again my pap smear comes back abnormal.
He explained I had lower than low grade changes, but did test positive for HPV. Because of this, he scheduled a colopscopy. During the colopscopy he ended up having to do several biopsies of abnormal cells in my cervix. This was not a fun procedure in the slightest. It was painful, I cried, and really wished I did not go alone.
One week later I got the phone call. My biopsies came back as CIN II. Not the worse it could have been, but not the best. Due to this, I had to have cryotherapy. This involves freezing 1/3 of the depth of the cervix. It was uncomfortable, and on the way home I fainted and threw up. Not fun at all. And ladies, let me tell you, when they tell you that you will have "slight watery discharge" after the procedure, what they REALLY mean is you will have so much watery discharge that you will look like you peed yourself. Use a regular pad, do not use a liner. Mistakes to learn from?
-HPV can lay dormant in your system for 5-10 years. ALWAYS get your pap smears every single year! It is uncomfortable, annoying, and not enjoyable, but it may some day save your life.
-If you are scheduled for a colopscopy, take a trusted friend (or your spouse) with you. They will help you keep your mind off it.
-If you have cryotherapy, wear your granny panties and bring a pad. And keep a stock of pads for the two weeks after
-Shell
For those interested in the exact specifics of the procedures:
Once a pap smear has come back abnormal, your doctor will do one of two things:
A. Wait 6 months for your body to clear it and redo the pap or;
B. Schedule a Colopscopy
Colopscopy:
This is like an in depth pap smear. The only difference is, once the speculum is placed, the doctor uses a qtip to coat your cervix with a liquid. This does NOT hurt. He then looks at your cervix through a special magnifying light, and the liquid makes the abnormal cells turn a certain color. If the doctor sees no abnormal cells, your done :) This process made me a bit uncomfortable, but it did not hurt. If he does see abnormal cells:
Biopsy:
The doctor will use an instrument to take small pieces of each of the cells. The pieces are about the size of a grain of rice.Everyone has different experiences, but this hurt, and it hurt badly. I handled the first biopsy ok, but after that, I freaked out. It hurt, I wanted it to be done, and that is what I told my doctor over and over again. He was very supportive through the experience, but that was the opposite of a good time.
Your doctor will then send that biopsy to the lab. These results take about a week, and they can come back as one of three things; CIN I, CIN II, and CIN III. My OB/GYN informed me that CIN I is the lowest grade, and they do not do further treatment (besides redoing your pap smear in 6 months). Typically your body can fight this off. CIN I is just the first part of your cervix. CIN II is the middle abnormality, and encompasses about 2/3 of your cervix. This requires further treatment. CIN III means your entire cervix is affected. This also requires further treatment. My biopsy came back as CIN II (as mentioned above), and my doctor chose Cryotherapy. There is also the LEEP procedure, but as I did not personally have that procedure, I cannot tell you my experience.
Cryotherapy:
The doctor pulls out a big scary looking fire extinguisher looking thing (but bigger), and attaches a small instrument to it. He then sets you up just like he would for a pap smear, and inserts the small instrument attached to the nitrous. That gets pressed against your cervix for five minutes, and the goal here is to remove 1/3 of the thickness of the cervix, in hopes your body will replace the abnormal cells with normal ones. At the beginning it was just uncomfortable, but the longer the procedure went on, the more uncomfortable it got. I would liken this to period cramps that start slow, and work their way up in intensity. Just when I thought I could not do it anymore, we were done. He removed the instrument, but kept the speculum in for a few minutes (as everything was quite literally... frozen). He removed everything and told me to expect some slight watery discharge for a couple of weeks. No douching, tampons, sex, baths, or swimming until the discharge is gone.
Ladies who are going to go through this last procedure, my Gyno lied. This is not a slight watery discharge. This is "OMG I think I peed my pants" discharge. A liner is not going to cut it here. You need to have, at the very least, a regular pad. For night time, please learn from me, and have an overnight pad on. I am 4 days past the procedure, and the discharge is just as heavy as it was the first day. I will update this once it is gone, but seriously it is like peeing your pants over and over again.
So, I get another pap in 6 months. If it comes back normal (and the success rate of Cryotherapy is 85-90%, so that is likely), then I keep going back for pap smears every 6 months for 2 years. If it is abnormal, we will start the process again. My cervix will replace the cells within 3-6 months.
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